Now Playing Tracks

  • Person:

    Hi, do you want pizza?

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    No. I'm being healthy. I'm not eating pizza because...

  • Everyone:

    Okay.

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    It looks so good, but the calories--

  • Everyone:

    Okay.

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    ...and the fat--

  • Everyone:

    Okay.

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    Here's a long explanation of my diet...

  • Everyone:

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    But I wish I could cheat LOL!

  • Everyone:

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    That stuff is so bad for you, you know? But you have fun!

  • Everyone who has left to go live their lives:

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    It's the gluten, you know? I don't know what that is, but it's soooooo baaaaaad.

  • Crickets who have come out because it's midnight now:

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    I cheated and ate an M&M yesterday! I spent an hour at the gym to make up for it but so worth it LOL.

  • Unfeeling universe:

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    Have you tried using cauliflower instead of bread to make a pizza?

  • Existential dread:

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    It tastes exactly the same, and it's sooooo much healthier.

  • Death itself:

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    I'm gonna go drink my soy smoothie now.

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    It's a small size.

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    Gotta watch my thighs!

  • Apocalypse, the end of all space and time as we know it, the fathomless void of nothingness:

  • Person Nobody Likes:

    BUT YOU ENJOY THAT PIZZA, FRIEND.

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union